A sad nod to the potential value of SafeSport training

[Than_Bogan]

Purposely keeping this rather unspecific: I'm aware of a non-waterski coach recently being dismissed due to an inappropriate relationship with a team member.

 

The most disturbing thing I'm learning in the aftermath is that a LOT of people either knew or strongly suspected this was going on more than a year ago. As far as I can gather, none of these folks who knew had any SafeSport training.

 

As I stated on the other thread in defense of mandatory SafeSport training, by far the easiest path forward is to look away. And that's exactly what apparently happened here. MAYBE if more involved had had the SafeSport training, this would have been halted much sooner. MAYBE it never takes place at all.

 

That's a lot of speculation, but my personal opinion remains that this type of training is among the best bang-for-buck ways to help reduce these kinds of incidents. The fact that so many good people did nothing in this case helps to cement my thinking.

[Bruce_Butterfield]

@Than_Bogan do you know / can you share the ages of those involved? Point being there is a huge difference between a 30yo coach and 14yo team-member vs. 20yo coach and 18 yo team-member.

[Than_Bogan]

@Bruce_Butterfield Totally valid and reasonable question, but unfortunately I am not willing to share that information about this particular case.

 

Btw, just to emphasize: This is not about waterskiing. Different sport.

[Horton]

@Bruce_Butterfield the safesport code is hard to read but I believe that is there is not a 5 year spread between the accused and the victim there is less scrutiny. Clearly if a 20 year old and a 16 year old have a thing that is going to raise flags but not at the same level as a 21 year old and a 16 year old. The whole freaking thing is so distasteful that it is hard to talk about.

[Horton]

@Than_Bogan I am not sure there is a ton to learn about what is right or wrong in the training but it is a clear reminder that there is a governing agency and what is and what is not allowed. For me, it was hearing what I knew to be right restated in a formal/legalistic way.

 

In 2019 most people know that it is not acceptable for an college age or older kid to date a high school kid. (yea sure college freshman and high school Sr. - whatever.)

[Than_Bogan]

Sure. What they don't know is that they should do something -- or they don't know what they should do. That's where the training educated me, and where clearly the folks involved in this particular situation had a lack of knowledge.

[Horton]

@Than_Bogan I can not disagree with that.

[wawaskr]

It seems strange that you want to speak out about this, yet you dont want to say anything. Same social issue with abuse of women that brought about the "me too" movement.

[Horton]

@wawaskr are you referring to the fact that I am discouraging conversations about Smith? The reality is the details of the investigation are completely confidential and all we could talk about is rumors. That seems like a super bad idea to me.

[wawaskr]

@horton I'm not pointing at you - this whole issue is a failure of society in general - seems to me the safe sport movement does not address the root cause, it is only reactionary. That is what "Me Too" is trying to get out there - that this action is not OK in society - and letting people be aware of the gruesome details of these situations - something that safe sport does not even have on the radar. These predators parents ultimately failed. New topic idea: Should potential parents be required to get permits? Then background checks could happen prior to the predators even being born.

[gjohnson]

@wawaskr Safe Sport training specifically targets the root cause. Go through the training and you'll learn why victims stay silent, how predators win over people so they will be believed over their victims, tactics they employ, situations that may seem odd and are warning signs, impressing upon people to say something and why they should. Safe Sport is seeking to educate people so the past may, eventually, not repeat itself.

[Dirt]

I thought it was illegal. Why isn't that enough? Maybe we as a society should start respecting rule of law and enforcing laws again.

[gjohnson]

@Dirt You ask a great question. To most people, that is enough. The downside is people struggle understanding the "how can someone do that" question. Which is a normal thought for most people, because, WTF, who preys on children? Now insert a person who is in a position of power over victims. A person who has great respect, everyone likes the person, they're important to the success and reputation of the community. This person has tremendous support in a community. That makes it very difficult for people to come forward and report transgressions. The powerful person will be defended their community and believed over a victim or whistle blower. Then the community will attack the victim. These actions aide the predator by ensuring silence of future victims.

 

What society needs to start doing is understanding the abuse cycle. Have empathy for victims. Believe them and then and only then, can we enforce laws.

[LeonL]

Please excuse the ignorance. Is the SafeSport program exclusively directed at sexual abuse of minors? Or are other abuses covered? You may say "take the course to find out". I'm probably not going to due my lack of exposure to outsiders.

[Horton]

@LeonL No. SafeSport handles all sorts of sexual misconduct and abuse. ( violence, bullying, harassment, etc)

[jetpilotg4]

I think its definitely a small step in the right direction, but for this to really work this has to get into the major sports as well. Football, Basketball, etc. Theres countless examples we've all heard about yet they all seem to make it on the field for game time.