Kids at Ski club having other Kids as a friendship support group

[101driver]

This is about the other benefits which children can enjoy when at ski school interacting with other children. We all tend to focus on the positives and there are many. My own children attribute many of their achievements in adulthood to an approach to life which they adopted from their waterski world experience.  Unfortunately not all of the people we deal with in life are nice, dealing with people who are not nice is largely a skill. As my daughter is now thinking about starting a family of her own, our discussions tend to focus on reflecting on the good and the bad and often how the watersport world played out in those experiences. I have strung together some thoughts and statements my daughter has made this past year into a summary bellow.

My children will spend time at the lake and ski with other children, the positive benefits which I have gained from this experience have stood me in good stead through my life and been instrumental in building the strength to overcome difficulties and achieve my goals both in my private and professional life. There is another side to this, at times I was the target of what some would call bullying but I was never a victim like some of the children at my school. I had another circle of friends at the ski club who I could talk to and who valued me. looking back this had two benefits firstly it meant that the bullying tactics did not work I had a whole other life with it's value base outside of the field of influence. secondly I had a support network of friends to talk to about the behaviours of others. This allowed me to form perspective of the situation. This built inner self confidence and the confidence to challenge others if behaviours were questionable. These skills are life skills which I have taken forward.

I have discussed this with other parents (mainly mothers) at the ski club and they all felt that the benefit of having a separate friendship group was a positive element in the raising of their children, some had comparable experiences, some different experiences but all felt having a different circle of friends and a diverse spread of friends was very beneficial to their children.

[Shell]

@101driver it’s been a long time for me since I am over the age of 55, but, I am seeing some things I “dislike” at tournaments with my grandson. In todays world, there is always going to be two separate friends circles, and in this world there will always be “bullies” in each circle, with the “outside ski world” with more I would assume? The ski world circle is a “special” sincere? Mature? Group of kids, but don’t let that fool us parents/grandparents, I have seen and had to handle bullying of kids and disrespect bluntly to my face as well as other kids.  Point of my comment is, talk and raise your kids/ grandchildren with the respect we should give and the respect others should get, I try and explain as much as possible to my grandson, and in a position where bullying is going on, I will explain what is right and what is wrong and to just stay clear of “certain” kids in the event that it occurs. Not everyone is nice and never will be. 

[101driver]

@Shell Good points well made. I have served on a number of committees of various clubs both inside and outside the ski world, my experience very much mirrors yours, I would say probably more problem parents than problem kids? maybe just my perspective and personal experience. As a take away strategy for this section of the forum your text is worthy of repeating and highlighting IMPO:

talk and raise your kids/ grandchildren with the respect we should give and the respect others should get, I try and explain as much as possible to my grandson, and in a position where bullying is going on, I will explain what is right and what is wrong and to just stay clear of “certain” kids in the event that it occurs. Not everyone is nice and never will be. 

The phrase I use most to differentiate between the children of comparable age in the ski world and outside is maturity both in girls and boy's, there are exceptions of course but in my experience these tend to be whole family group exceptions. 

To finish on a positive I have found children in the ski world to have self discipline at an early age, there is work to do in order to go and have fun, whether it be help dad / mum launch get the toys to the boat or whatever, they just get on with it. Similarly afterwards. Being around other children who are striving to do more and it being fun seems to be a powerful driver. Communication and being aware of others and a sense of others needs all seem to be more developed and earlier, basically social skills mature faster and tend to be more advanced. 

[chrislandy]

We are going through this now, just moved clubs to make sure the kids are surrounded by peers.

I've found over the last few years that if the kid does have a friendship group at the club then they are more willing to push themselves. Like most places, you do get the odd not so nice kid, but again I've seen children turn this around and they use it as a lever to push themselves to beat them in competition.

[Shell]

@chrislandy I see your point for kids having a friendship group at their club, but that doesn’t alway mean that kids will be at the site when you’re at the site? If a kid is eager? Hungry? And a true buoy chaser like my 7yr old grandson, they will want to go to the lake no matter what. I have experienced kids at the lake that want to kneeboard or tube and just don’t have the drive to slalom or trick, the parent will negotiate to let them tube if they slalom first. Point is: it has to be in the child’s blood and personal drive, also depends on the age of the child. I can happily say that my grandson would much rather ski the slalom course and trick before he ever asks to kneeboard or tube. We have more fun double slaloming and double trick skiing more than anything else. It all just comes down to the individual kid.

[Horton]

@Shell

I am inclined to think that whatever the kids are doing is what the other kids want to do. If all the kids are slalom & trick skiing then the next kid to show up is likely to want to slalom and trick. If all the kids are kneeboarding and tubing then the new kid will be a tuber.

This is not imperial and your grandson may be the exception but I think it is pretty true.

I know that Buford Danger skis much more when other kids are skiing. That is why I will jump through hoops to get her rides anywhere where there are other kids skiing.

[Shell]

@Horton yes! I would agree with you……for the most part, but there isn’t a day that goes by that my grandson doesn’t want to ski, I don’t have to ask him or force him, it’s exactly the opposite, he is calling me wanting me to pick him and asking us to not ski without him, lol. The point I’m getting across is “some” kids don’t always need other kids to be pushed on a daily basis. I DO believe when you get to a tournament and all the kids are playing soccer and football and then they take time out to ski and cheer each other on when on the water, that they do become more competitive. It’s actually really cool seeing all the kids cheering each other on and telling each other that they did a good job!

[chrislandy]

@Shell Don't get me wrong, one of mine you can't keep off the water and the other will do it when she feels like it. The issue we had was lack of "other fun" at the lake i.e. no one to thug around with 3, 4, 5 up on tricks / kneeboards, skulking around the undergrowth, chilling in someones RV / clubhouse etc between sets, in other words "lake life". When our last club had a few other kids there, they would ski or be on a boat for pretty much the whole day, when they left it took a lot of the fun out of it for them so we ended up training, resting, training and going home.

Most clubs for us (except this new one) are 1.5hr drive away minimum so we like to make a day out or weekend in the camper.  The new one is 35mins away and has loads of families as members so all different ages and skiing levels

[Robbo5252]

Our kids attended their first one here in South Aus this year & loved it.  It was definitely not just about the skiing, but the friendships formed.  Their skiing has improved since, partly from the coaching but I also think from watching others & seeing what is possible and wanting to tell them about their achievements.

Would love to get to the US one day for a camp for them as well as me!