Horton’s Southern Fried Baller Safari - (Divorce Lake and Lake Caroline)

Horton · May 31, 2011

Last Saturday morning my trusty driver and body guard Dave Smart showed up at my house looking like he had not slept the night before because he had not. Two cups of coffee later my wife, Gallagher, drove us to the airport to begin the Safari and her quest to Ikea.

Two planes later and one lingerie model story later we landed in Birmingham Alabama. Note to self: I am the only one who thinks it is funny to say that Black Sabbath is from Birmingham. By 11 pm the girl at Hertz hated us and had a rental car.

The thing about the south is that there is not always an interstate that will get you where you are going. To make things even more interesting the police have a dry since of humor when they stop you on a dark country road at midnight.

In retrospect we should have had a map. Lucky we made it to the hotel by 2 am. If you ever go to the Hampton Inn in Pine Mt, do not tell the hotel staff you know me.

Somehow we arrived at Callaway Gardens in time to see the finals Sunday. The site is beautiful and the team at Correct Craft knows how to run a well-organized event. Dave and I ran around all day taking photos and talking to old friends we had not seen in decades.

Tired and sunburnt we returned to the hotel after the conclusion of the Masters to realize that the nearest beer was 45 minutes away. If we were adults we would have simply edited photos and gone to bed but no. So after getting lost a few times, one state line and a time zone we found a wide selection of classic American beer (Bud, Coors, Miller). Since we had to get up early the next morning we stayed up late editing photos and drinking Bud.

Monday: 45 minutes from Pine Mt is Bob Wilkinson’s beautiful “Divorce Lake”. When Dave and I arrived, Bob was already working on a Memorial Day lunch feast. The smell of the slow cooked BBQ almost prevented us from noticing the lake. Lucky for us the sight of Stuart’s showroom condition red metal flake 93 Master Craft Stars and Strips snapped us back to the task at hand. When we finally got on the water, it was epic. That water and that boat make slalom fun.

Happy with the skiing and our new fiends, it could not get much better…. Then we caught sight of the huge bubbling pot of shrimp, corn, sausage, potatoes and stuff. Holy Crap! And then the Pork thing… I do not know what it was, but I wanted to eat the whole darn thing. If Bob wants to quite doing whatever he does for work he could totally run a BBQ joint.

Yes the site is beautiful and yes it skis amazing but the thing about Divorce Lake that stands out is how much Bob and his friends love to ski.

They could rename the site “Lake Enthusiasm”. Bob, Stuart, Betty, Billy, Wayne and the rest of the crew all clearly love to ski. People like this are the soul of the sport.

Not wanting to leave but on a schedule we crammed our wet gear back in the rental car and headed 100 miles south to Clint Smith’s Lake Caroline. For guys like Dave and I who rarely ski on anything but man-made lakes, Lake Caroline is foreign territory. At least a few hundred acres of deep water and surrounded by pine forest, this may be what god had in mind for a ski lake. This is a lake that you would want to visit just to swim and fish. The fact that there is a slalom course and a Correct Craft 196 is just a bonus. Our wives would be so happy with the quiet and scenery, good thing we left them home.

Joining us for the afternoon was Chad, Jennifer and national champ Sean Hunter. The Hunters are a 3 person water ski team. Off the water Sean is a typical Boys 2, on the water Sean is a slalom machine. It is only a matter of time before Sean out skis his dad, Chad, so Chad is working pretty hard to get deeper down the rope.

Clint Smith is not only a fantastic host but die hard skier. Clint has only been skiing for a few years but attacks the water like someone with many more years of experience. His addiction to slalom skiing is hard to miss. A 12 step program may be needed at some point.

The big lake, does it ski ok? Can someone put down a big score? Heck yea, that water is awesome. It is easy to get wide and early but your ski goes around the ball on a rail.

After skiing, Clint took us down another country road…. to his house for burgers and beers. If we did not need to s hotel and some sleep, chances are good that Clint would have gotten us in a lot of trouble.

Old MS Accout · May 31, 2011

How about some 2-4-6 ball pics

bxroads · May 31, 2011

John and Dave were awesome guest. Wish we were doing it again today. The doors are open anytime down here my friends.

jdarwin · May 31, 2011

1993 MC Stars and Stripes - the best looking boat ever! And, it skied fantastic.

Taperflex · May 31, 2011

Thoroughly enjoyed being the first stop on the safari. Dave and John were a blast to ski with. Got to ski on John's Razor, and found it very similar to my yellow Fisher. And Joe, that '93 MC looks like it just came off the showroom floor. Best boat MC ever built.

kfennell · May 31, 2011

My wife just saw this and said "Oh no, we're not going to be in a slideshow too are we?" You are instilling fear in Shreveport and you're not even here yet:|

RichardDoane · May 31, 2011

I'd still like to hear the story about the naming of "divorce" lake, .....in 25 words or less.....

Boody · May 31, 2011

Man, thos pics are unreal. Cool to be able to ski in those public lakes, I haven't done that in a while. Looks fun. Was it me or were the bouys in that one lake real big? On a related note, was Horton's hair larger than normal? Wow.

usaski1 · May 31, 2011

I see my decals! BTW, everyone plz order more! :-)

Horton · May 31, 2011

See the first post for the notes.... if there are crazy typos... I am writing at mid-night in a hotel drinking a beer or 4

Stewpro · June 1, 2011

Yep John and Dave are the real deal , great skiing with you guys! Sorry bout the buoys but ran out of time with the Masters going on and what not ( HAD TO WAX THE BOAT ) Besides big buoys make you ski wider so you don't hit em and I figured if you guys made it round these babies you are good ! All kidding aside if you ski like these guys you can wear your hair any way you want ! Good times ! No , Great Times !