In my experience, some rules are necessary to manage expectations and fairly distribute a scarce resource--the lake and course--but no set of rules will make up for bad attitudes or simply having too many members. For the most part, if everyone in the group has the goal of making sure everyone else gets their sets and has a good time, then everyone will have a good experience, and the rules can be applied more flexibly, unless there are too many members. If some or all in the group are just selfish or there is fighting or personalities that clash, the club experience will suck, and it will suck proportionally more with more members. Also, new people and beginners should be encouraged, but you don't want to bring a huge group of beginners at peak times when everyone is in a hurry to get in sets. That is just not fair to the group and the beginners will feel the tension and not have a good time either. At my last club there were not that many members, but we had to work around a ski school. No one ever had a problem with bringing in one beginner as a guest on any given day, but if we wanted a full-on hacker day we would call around and let everyone know in advance, and everyone was cool with with this usually. (If there are too many members, and the lake is always full, and there is no off time, then there may just not be any time for a hacker day.) What gets people upset is surprises or people who always seem to try and take advantage. I think the comments above that its the culture that counts is spot on. Good culture=good time, as long as there is not too many members.
454SS, ski courses are simply a scarce resource. If you really want to learn, you need to be a little bull headed and find a way to get time on one, and understand that there is some need for rules to divide up a scarce resource. Or, you can buy your own course and find a place to put it and also maintain it. Good luck with that. Either way, it may not be worth it to you to make the effort or put up with some of the hassle. I wish more courses were available to more people, but that is just not the case. I think its worth it to make the effort and find the right club, but its not worth it for everyone.