Possible Pandora's Box, throwing this one out there for some laughs

[GAJ0004]

What would you do if your wife/girlfriend said you spend too much time and money on water skiing, and she throws out that if the relationship is going to work the skiing will have to be curtailed or stopped? I saw a T-Shirt one time that said "She said if I go to the lake one more time, she's gonna leave. Boy, I am going to miss her." What is everyone's take on this one?

 

 

[RichardDoane]

Why would you give up something that you enjoy, and is a healthy, outdoor activity ?

[Roger]

Our solution was for my wife to become a scorer. She comes out and skies recreationally when I practice and scores at the tournaments, so we're always together. It works for us...

 

[ForrestGump]

I think this saying is applicable........"Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya." :)

[Ed_Obermeier]

Sounds like she wants to be the controller in the relationship.  If we give in on something we love as much as skiing (which is a positive activity as opposed to spending time in sports bars drinking, staying out late doping with the buds, etc etc) what other demands should we expect her to make over time?  Count on it, there will be others.  Is she worth giving up skiing (and whatever else she decides she doesn't want us doing) for?  If it were one of my buds I'd council them to man up and ditch the bitch pronto.  Or expect to live life as her bitch.  Those are the two options.

For the record my wife accepts that I'm involved in skiing and that I'm going to invest some time in it.  As tradeoff I make sure that I spend time doing stuff with/for her to even it out including lake time.  It's part of who I am and she accepts that just as I accept facets of her personality that define who she is.  If equivalent give and take isn't present it ain't gonna work.

Ed

[malibuowner]

I actually do give up something I enjoy because my wife demands that I do so. Fortunately for me she demands that I take her water skiing instead of shooting my archery equipment. Not much of a sacrifice but what ever the wife wants.....

[Thomas Wayne]

Is there really any doubt here?

I would say that was okay, 'cause I was looking for a girlfriend when I met her; then I would shake her hand and tell her I really enjoyed getting to know her; then I would go skiing.

 TW

[Bulldog]

My wife is my boat driver (a really good one at that) and the one who said just go and buy the damn boat......so its really her fault.

[skiron07]

I agree whole heartedly with Ed's approach- takes two to tango...she gives some as you should

the hard part for me is to get MDW to say what she wants to do! 

[Chef23]

I had a discussion with an ex-girlfriend about water-skiing and golf.  I told her that I had been water-skiing and playing golf since before I met her and I expected to be doing them for the rest of my life.  If she wanted the relationship to work she was going to have to get used to it.

I don't have the same problem with my wife.  Before we had kids she had lots of interests and would go do her own thing and we would hook up later in the day.  Now that we have kids she comes out on the boat or to tournaments with us.

[Old MS Accout]

Mrs.MS is top notch driver, judge and scores. Runs into 22 off on a good day and she wakes me up at night asking me about her fall at 4 ball. I just bought her a new Z7ST.  

[Steven]

Wow!!! Pandora's Box is right! Before I got married I spelled it out, didn't slow down a bit, even told her that my obsession with water skiing and snow skiing is probably one of the main reasons why I got divorced before. I told her in no un-certain terms should she ever try to change that about me. To this day she is still trying to change me! All women want to do is change you and once they've changed you, they don't like what they've changed you into! They're never happy! Go skiing, enjoy yourself, find a compromise that works (if you can) otherwise you'll be a worthless, un-happy individual that she'll end up hating anyways!

[Drago]

If my girlfriend said that, I would have her move on and look for some one that fits her needs more. My last girlfriend never said anything like that... she became my wife.If my wife said that, I would take a good look to see if she were correct. Part of who I am is waterskiing, but I self-limit my tournaments and practice so it never becomes an issue. Balance....

[Gern Blanston]

To me, the pertinent question is why does she want to take something from you that love to do?  Is she feeling left out?  If so, include her in on it.  Is she just a manipulative b1tc#?  If so, dump her.

 When I first started dating my wife, I was all set to move to another (warmer) city.  The deal we agreed to was to someday live on a lake if we stayed together.  When we found the lot, I had sticker shock.  She said "if you don't do this, you'll be kicking yourself for the next 10 years."  She was right and so the next day we put in an offer.  10 years later, we're still there and loving it - our kids do, too.   My point is there's someone that understands what (also) is important to me and doesn't want to be the controlling, nagging spouse.  That's just one of the reasons I married her.  Now if she could only drive the boat the way I want....

[Dirt]

This discussion reminds me of the dentist's wife in the movie Hangover. Everyone has had a buddy with a wife or girlfriend that acted like that character in the movie. Most are smart enough to move on but some just do whatever they are told.

[davemac]

Digressing somewhat, but I've often thought one of the ski schools (in conjunction w/ ski coaching) should offer a 2 or 3 day boat driving seminar for wives and/or girlfriends of skiers.  Let some stud with a valium prescription (and far more patience than me) be the driving instructor, and offer pilates, yoga or something between driving sessions.  For the safety of skiers being coached, these lessons would obviously  have to take place on an adjacent lake...with a deep,sandy bottom and a heavily padded and fortified dock.

My wife doesn't bitch about my skiing (especially since I involve my young daughters whenever possible).  She would love to be able to drive the boat for me, but merely lacks the confidence to do so.  I'm not sure whether it is a hopeless cause, but (through experience) I've learned that I'm not the one to teach her.

 

[scoke]

 

I've known a few guys.

And i know a guy.....

 http://www.impawards.com/2001/posters/saving_silverman.jpghttp://www.impawards.com/2001/posters/saving_silverman.jpghttp://www.dizi-izleyin.org/vidresim/0zwJQhW9AZ.jpg

[h2odawg79]

Is the problem actually the skiing? Or is the problem actually a lack of balance within the relationship? No guy wants to hear his gal go on and on about ______ (anything) or find out that she didn't fix dinner again or go grocery shopping or pick up the cleaners, or is "JUST TOO TIRED," etc... because of her damn obsession with______.

OTOH, maybe you don't wear her out with endless babble about skiing, your always there for her and skiing doesn't get in the way of taking care of bus. around the house, the vehicles or what ever the normal man resposibilities are around your house... If this is the case then, DUDE! -she's got some issues that your not going to be able to solve. -EVER!

Either way, I doubt that it's as simple as "just the skiing"... 

     

[GAJ0004]

I am not in a relationship now, but my last one(4 years ago) was very manipulative and controlling. I get so many guys telling me if I ever get married my skiing days would be over. She was history before it ever came to that. I found it is much easier, and cheaper chasing the orange balls verses chasing women. Water skiing is part of who I am. I would not give it up unless my body says no more.  I did see Saving Silverman. It was funny as hell, but true. You guys who have a woman who likes to be out on the water as much as you do are lucky. They are hard to find.. 

[ForrestGump]

"I found it is much easier, and cheaper chasing the orange balls verses chasing women. "

Isn't THAT the truth. My boat payment, insurance, and a new ski every year equates to FAR less money than I spend chasing skirts. lol

[Ed_Obermeier]

For the average guy it would probably be a lower financial out put over time to fly to Vegas once a month to get your pipes cleaned out at the Bunny Ranch versus being married, considering the divorce rate is 50% and all. Unless you get lucky and find a really good one (I'm a lucky one).  And if you can find one who loves skiing and can drive a boat, you're probably in the top 3% (extremely lucky).

Ed

[Horton]

I assume that you guys understand that owner of this website married a non-skier less than a year ago. Good thing Gallagher does not read the forum.

[Steven]

Horton,

 

I wish you the best of luck and hope you're like Ed and got one of the 3%! Because arguing about something your passionate about sux!

[HO 410]

The short answer is no, I'm not drastically changing my hobbies (especially old hobbies) for the girlfriend. I've seen/experienced this issue go three basic directions, not always over skiing, but similar circumstances.

1. You are spending time at the lake, specifically to avoid the wife/girlfriend. This has proved to be the most difficult situation to solve.

2. You are spending time at the lake and she feels left out. It does not need to be the case that she's interested in participating, she just wants to be there. This is pretty simple, take the ski out of the passenger seat and bring her along.

3. She resents every moment you spend away from her and everything you do that she does not like. Major indentity issues. Hangups like that are best left for someone that is equally neurotic. 

 

[RichardDoane]

I'm pretty sure Gallagher knew what she was getting into, she seemed like the 3% Ed mentioned.....  You really should take her on an extended, romantic weekend to Seattle for Memorial Day this May, and by the way, we're having a 3 round event at the Broho.....

[TomD]

Being the thoughtful and caring spouse that I am, I’ve taken my non-skiing wife to Arizona 3 or 4 times for a fun-filled vacation/roadtrip in October.  Her father lives there, so she’s not only on vacation but also gets to visit him.

 

I figure that while I’m pampering her with all this fun and family time, it wouldn’t hurt to do a little skiing as long as I’m in the neighborhood.  3 rounds on Saturday and another 3 on Sunday don’t seem like much, at least to me.  Believe it not – she’s bought into this plan.

 

Just found out the old man is moving to California  (near me) – crap!!

[Ed_Obermeier]

I guess I wasn't clear enough.  I am not one of the lucky 3% (unfortunately).  Wife loves boating and the lake, could care less about skiing.  But she's cool with me feeding my habit as long as I bring some balance to the equasion.  But I am in the upper 50% (undivorced after almost 30 years of marriage) which IMO makes me a pretty lucky man. 

I'm saying that IF you get one that skis and can drive too then it's YOU who are in the lucky 3%.  If not but you get one without all of the neurotic crap like HO410 mensioned who allows you to be who you are (just as you allow her to be who she is), that's pretty darn lucky too.  Although I tend to think that in large part we all create our own luck, both good and bad...

Ed

[h2odawg79]

For the other 97 or so % out there:

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE: 

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,
Who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you
Laugh. 

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust
And who doesn't lie to you. 

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed
And who likes to be with you. 

5. It's very, very important that these four women
Do not know each other.

[GAJ0004]

I tell any woman I go out with, that I would need therapy if I did not ski. I told her it is cheaper than paying big bucks to go see a psychiatrist from going stir crazy.

 I actually have lucked out. I have two single ladies I have been teaching to do the slalom course. One of them has been only skiing for a couple of years and she gets through the course consistently at 26, and is starting to get into 28 MPH. The other I have created a monster. She now runs it consistently at 30 MPH, and is starting to run 32 MPH all at 15 off consistently. They are both excellent drivers too. They learned on my 1994 nautique to drive manually before I had perfect pass installed, and before one of them got a Master Craft with zero off. They joke I don't need a wife, since I have the two of them to keep me in check..

Water ski season in PA starts in 30-40 days, unless work gets in the way...

 

[Jean B]

 Does this include the question of the husband not liking what the wife or girl friend wants to do.  Maybe you all are trying to change them and want them to do what you want to do. Go half way and compromise, you do something they want and maybe they will do something you want. Or maybe you just found the wrong woman.  I found the right man and he lets me ski as much as I want. Laughing all the way to the lake again tomorrow. :)  Life is Good.

[lcarnes]

I’m glad a woman finally joined this conversation. Skiing is a GREAT sport for women. As a total ski-addict I’m the one jumping up and down asking my husband--very good skier/driver himself-- for a pull pretty much every day. (Come on spring!)

 

The secret to me getting hooked was skiing with my girlfriends at the lake-they were able to actually cut across that wake and seemed to be having more fun back there than I was just hanging on the rope. Once I got hooked, that led to me taking every opportunity to get lessons, and at every lake, I met one or two women who are as hooked as me. Last year in Acapulco, (guess where) I got the idea to have a ski week just for women. April Coble agreed and we had the first all women’s ski week at Coble Ski School last September. We had a blast with women at every level, from running 35 off to learning to get up on one ski. April is having another all women’s week September 19-23, 2010.

[teammalibu]

A wise old man once told me the reason divorce is so expensive is because it is worth it!

Tell her to get on board, find her own gig , or kick her to the curb! Life is way too short.

P.S. That wise old man was my old man. R.I.P. Pops 

 

[GAJ0004]

I was just referring to water skiing since it is not exactly a mainstream activity. I still get people scoffing at me saying it is not a sport because you just stand behind a boat. Then I explain the course, and they are suprised. I will pretty much do anything, but getting out on the dance floor is cruel and unusual punishment. Some people think what we do is scary. They can't believe playing football gives you more of a beating..

 

[skidawg]

 

There are thousands of women out there, but there is only one sport of slalom, kick her to the curb and find an athletic one who wants to learn how to ride a BIG STICK and round some  BALLS, that's what I did!!!!

[Kelvin]

Try moving into a waterski development where you're skiing in your backyard.  That way your not always "gone to the lake".  It's worked out very well for me since we took the plunge a year ago. 

[kpickett]

I'm a lucky one. Today is my wife's birthday. (It also happens to be about 65 and sunny out.) I said, "What do you want to do today? We'll do whatever you like." So, she says, "Let's go down to the lake and take a ski." Pretty, pretty amazing.

[Ed_Obermeier]

Now THAT'S a good woman!

Ed

[Bulldog]

I second that!!

[RichardDoane]

kpickett - I hope you took a picture to post on the BOS !

[Jean B]

.

[kpickett]

It was a good day skiing. We had a baby in September, so Alice was out the whole season. She was pretty bummed. We got out last weekend for our first ski of the season, and then she wanted to go again today. I'm pretty proud of her!

 

Richard - as requested.

 

Kyle

[kpickett]

One more of the skiing:

[RichardDoane]

_{good work Kyle - I'd recommend you get her some "spray legs" for skiing while in the bag suit.  They'll help decrease the drag in the water, and prolong the life of the leg seals.ÂÂ} 

[ForrestGump]

"find an athletic one who wants to learn how to ride a BIG STICK and round some  BALLS, that's what I did!!!! "

You got a good one, Ward! She's tougher than me and Arora put together, probably! LOL

[Mrs ML]

So I don't want to toot my horn....okay I kinda do. My husband introduced me to skiing when we met 9 years ago (his best pickup line was "Hey-I gotta boat" and I was in love!). Anyways, I think I am more into it now than he is. We both ski in tournaments and it is so much fun! We started skiing this year in early February (water was mid 40's to low 50's....brrrrr) and we usually make it through October - sometimes November. I love skiing!!! I would NEVER ask him to stop doing something he enjoys. Yes, I also drive the boat for anyone who wants to ski (learned on a 90 MC without PP). In the last couple years, I have pulled a couple guys into 38 and I think I was as excited as the skiers! I can also trailer the boat and back into the lake....and no, it doesn't take me 20 minutes. I get it right the first time.

Lots of the wives at our lake ski and some of them don't. But none of them gripe at their man for wanting to ski. Life is too short and your problems just aren't that heavy. Enjoy it while you can. :)

[Old MS Accout]

Mrs. ML Rocks

[ForrestGump]

Damn, I gotta try that "Hey, I gotta boat" thing.

[Old MS Accout]

The 196 should bring them to you in droves.       

 

[Jean B]

Mrs. ML. I too do all the boat stuff you do. Since I am the only one in the family that uses the boat anymore, I also make sure all the matenance is done. It always amazes me that there are so many wifes/girls that think they can't do the driving, trailering, launching etc.... It is alot easier then they think. I am one of those that will not wait for anyone, if there is a will there is a way. :)

 

[Mrs ML]

Hello Jean B! I agree, it's easy and it's fun. The whole reason I learned how to launch the boat was because I hadn't yet learned how to get up on one ski and I thought if I sucked at that, at least I could be useful. I can't imagine not skiing and not being a part of it all. I told my husband that if the day ever came that I wasn't physically able to ski, I would go get rated to be a driver because I still want to be a part of the tournaments and I don't want to miss out on all the fun.