Job/career advice

[akale15]

I am reaching out to my fellow ballers for some job/career advice. Here is my situation:

 

I recently graduated college and hired on with the company I interned with for 3 summers. At the end of the 3rd summer my supervisor told me I have a great potential and after several years in the trade and completion of an MBA that he foresees me to take over his position when he would retire.

 

I have been working with the company full time now for 6 months and have since gotten engaged. My fiancé is currently working as a nurse tech while she is trying toget into PA school. There is a school close to wear I work but since the program is tough to get into there is no guarantee she gets accepted there. Since she is applying to schools all over the country and school is a 2.5 year process and we do not plan to live apart for that long, especially after being newly married.

 

I'm not worried about finding a new job where ever her schooling would take us and we have every intention of coming back after school is over, however if I leave the company after a short 1.5-2 years at this job are they going to be upset for leaving and leaving so soon that they won't consider having me back.

 

So the issue we are most likely going to be facing is do I give up an opportunity to become a division head in a half a billion dollar company and move with her so she can complete PA school or does she give up an opportunity for a tough program and put her entire career on hold?

 

I would like to think that if I would leave in good standing with the company I am currently working for that I shouldn't have a problem coming back but is that a worthwhile risk? It's not like I want to leave, and I would only be leaving for my wife just for a few years.

 

What would you do? How would you as a manager/supervisor feel?

 

 

Any other advice?

 

 

 

[Onside135]

Hmmm. It really depends. Tell us a lot more about where/how often you are skiing, ski type, binding setup, fin settings, PBs, etc, etc... The rest of that fiance, job, and college degree nonsense is trivial infomation...

[lpskier]

If you leave on good terms, with plenty of notice and for a legit reason, and acquire valuable skills and experience while on hiatus, and don't steal clients or trade secrets, you should have no problem coming back. In fact , your current boss will probably help you get a job in whatever community you move to so he knows what you are doing and what experience you are getting. That may well be seen as a plus for your existing company and not a minus. The smart thing is to keep them informed of your plans short and long term. Management hates human resource

surprises.

[rodltg2]

Keep your job, with your wife gone for 2.5 years, you will have more time to ski.

[A_B]

Depends if there is a ski lake where her PA school is.

[TylerR]

Keep job, Skype with wife, ski more.... Also I suggest more sets b/c there isn't enough waterskiing in this thread

[Brian_M]

Keeping with what most others have said, but in a more practical sense, check out the 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris. It may may you think differently about how you'd like to approach life, your career all the while increasing time spent on the water and with your wife.

[Waternut]

I'll add to what @lpskier said and all of his points are valid IMO. Give as much notice as possible and make your intentions clear that you like this job but may have to move due to your wife getting into a school in another state. Don't be lazy after you've given the official notice that you're leaving and give a good turn over to whoever is picking up your workload.

 

If they still don't like you or don't want you back after all of that, then you wouldn't have wanted to work for such a lame company for much longer in the first place.

[Moggie]

For me it would depend on a few things; does the job offer you the best opportunity for progression; when is the boss likely to retire; and how far apart would you be? I was faced with something similar 8 months ago, hence I now live in Australia and my fiancée in the UK (the difference is that Oz offered me more skiing!).

 

Even management are human so chances are if you explain the circumstances they’ll be supportive if you leave, flexible if you choose to make distance work, and grateful if you stay. Just don’t surprise them.

[Wayne]

In all honesty if one of my guys said that they would like to leave the company for 2.5 years I would not hold the position for them. If you left on very good terms with a long notice I would welcome you back only if I had a need to fill that spot again. I've worked with people that have come from over seas and left a spouse behind. It can work but its hard. Each person used as much of their vacation time as possible to see the other person. Holidays were spent with each other and so on.

 

The question I have is once her degree is done who will be the major bread winner in the family if you stayed with your current company? If its her I would make the concession. If its you then either be prepared to be apart or look for alternatives for her to get her degree closer to home (if even possible). Also will she be able to find work where you are now? If no then maybe long term it's better to move for her career. In the end I would do what is the most be official long term. 2.5 years seems like a long time but if you can break it up with frequent visits (between semesters, holidays, vacations) it will go by fast.

[Drago]

I would think if your current employer is so impressed with you, another in a different location would be as well. Wouldn't plan on sliding back in after a 2 1/2 year leave, though.

[Brady]

I would say go work for yourself and start your own business. I could never work for someone else, I need to be my own boss!

[BraceMaker]

Work hard, get as much value as you can. Don't plan based on her mights, only her final decision. PA can make good scratch, depending on state scope of practice, also long odd hours. If you like where you work gain exp and value, why start planning to move if she has not gotten offers.

Why PA over NP, some states give NP better scope.

[MrJones]

I agree with bracemaker. If you are in a good position I would have you wife continue to work on getting into PA/NP school in your are if that is what she wants to do. If she is good, she can get in.

 

Besides that, you never know what may happen. My wife wanted to get her PhD and be a professor at the area university. She got through the Masters degree, but found out she really wanted to be mom more that that. Now she is homeschooling our 3 kids and has a small home based business. Who knew?

[DW]

If you decide to leave the company do not assume they will hire you back, I would assume just the opposite. Why would they look your replacement in the eye and tell them somebody that left our company for a few years and now wants to come back so you need to move aside. Lots will change at the company you work for now in the time you are gone and your accomplishments of years past won't shine like they do now. Don't forget, by leaving you are sending a signal that your priority is not them. Bottom line, when your resume / phone call arrives on their doorstep in 2-3 years you simply have your accumulated time with them as your advantage over other candidates at that time along with the fact you were willing to leave.

[akale15]

Thanks for all the advice. We still have a good 6-8 months before we even find out about the status of her school then a year before she would start. No matter what happens I'm confident it will all work out. One positive is that she applied to much warmer states which would most definatly allow us to ski more throughout the year! One thing we both know is that we can always find an escape on the water.

 

Now for what we all are really here for, I ski a 64.5 D3 Custom X5. PB last season 1 @ 21off, haven't quite got there yet this season. Going out tonight after work!

 

She's skiing a 64 KD7000. She loves to free ski and I'm trying to get her on the course this year.

[ScarletArrow]

I would not leave your job so your wife can attend school with the expectation of being hired back.

 

You may do all the right things - give advanced notice, work hard until the very end, etc; but 2.5 years is a long time and your employer will move on emotionally and pragmatically and find another solution.

[ForrestGump]

While understandable that you'd want to leave to go where your wife goes, to expect to be hired back when she's done is naive. Business is business and no company is going to hold a position that long. In addition, an employee who leaves once has shown they won't have a problem leaving again. When I've been involved in hiring people, the ones where the person had worked their before and left of their own volition(for whatever reason) went to the bottom of the stack.

[Jordan]

Family first...there are a ton of good companies and opportunities in the world.

 

You mention that your boss sees you taking over his position after more experience and obtaining an MBA.

 

Why not talk to your boss about going back to school at the same time as your wife goes; all with a vision to returning to your company?

 

You may find that there are a lot of opportunities for you that you prefer once you graduate.

[BraceMaker]

@akale15 - sounds like you need a boat.

[BCM]

MOST IMPORTANTLY, RESEARCH SKI SITES BEFORE YOU MAKE A DECISION. I didn't do that with my last move and the closest ski site is 3hrs away. It is NOT acceptable.

 

I have moved all over the country in the past few years and I left a good job to do it. I couldn't be happier with my decision (except the skiing thing). I still use my previous employer as a professional reference because he is a good man and he understood that I was leaving to better myself, my career and the quality of life of my family.

[Joeprunc]

My brother in law just went thru this same dilemma. His fiancee just got accepted to nursing school 2 months before their wedding date. The school was an 8 hour drive away from their place of residence, he was poor and couldn't afford plane tickets.

 

He quit his job as an accountant, and moved to the school location with his newly married wife. It took him over 6 months to find a job. He was not happy with where they were living, how expensive everything was, and how crappy his job was just to pay the bills. It was very hard for him to see his wife go to school come home and study...he was working, and doing everything around the house. With all these crappy things going on their relationship went extremely sour, they were very close to calling it quits and getting a divorce (after one year of living together).

 

1.5 years of this crappy situation, he ended up getting a job back where they wanted to eventually end up. He had to hire on before the end of the year to be grandfathered into the gov. retirement benefit package. They did the last year away from each other. This was also hard as he traveled to her every other weekend, and spend countless hours on the phone with her. Fights broke out as it is sometimes very hard to read emotions over the phone. It got better when she was super busy with school, and on holidays she was able to spend quality time at his place.

 

Now that she just graduated, and she moved back in with him, they are happy as can be. He has an extremely stable job that he loves and wants to stay at, and has already started climbing the latter. She still has yet to take her nursing test and start looking for a job. But they are both very happy to be living where they want to live. And have a job that does not suck.

 

So a few questions for you:

-Do you love where you live?

-Will you love the town where she goes to school?

-Do you love your current job and line of work? Can you see yourself working there for a long time? Are there positions for a PA there?

-How are your communication skills with your fiancee? (To live apart they better be freaking excellent)?

-What are her thoughts?

-Is there anyway you can work remotely (or partially remotely) for your existing company?

 

[Glock]

What if you proposed to your company that you want to get your MBA or Masters degree full time, but remain engaged with the company during that time working on side projects, etc. When she is done, you will be done and you can move back and not just get the same job you had but maybe get a better one.

[454SS]

@akale15 dude do what your hearts wants you to do, this is the only truth. Some of the wealthiest men may appear to be happy on the outside because they have everything, however on the inside they are actually very unhappy because most of there decisions are made with reason instead of feeling.

[Moggie]

@joeprunc you don't need good communication skills to make a long distance relationship work, just put these two template messages in your phone and send them once a week;

"I miss you too X" and "Sorry I missed your call I was skiing"

[6balls]

Go where she goes...she's going to be a 6 figure earner and you stated no issue with you getting a job elsewhere. As a couple can you possibly give up that lifelong earning potential? Finish your MBA in the interim. When she graduates she can go anywhere and your chances with your MBA along with experience are strong as well. If you are good, don't worry about missing out on a job now...these people that think you are great will serve as fine references. Sometimes it feels when you are young that you won't have a certain opportunity again so you need to strike now but if you're good...opportunities will present themselves with relative frequency. A short-term sacrifice to bust off a serious, mobile, dual income that could land you not only in ski country but with the financial reserve to pull off a lake home will be worth a few years of sacrifice.

[gregy]

The odds are against you staying with one business these days. There are no guarantees the job will be yours at your present job. I had a great job with a company and they made me promises, stock options, advancement. Well they moved my job and many others to Mexico, I got let go. Then the company went out of business, stocks were worthless. I had passed up a position at a startup company for that job, that company ended up being very successfull. You just don't know.

[GAJ0004]

Keep your job especially if you are in good standing. I was unemployed for two and a half years and it ended my original career. If you are out of work for more than 6 months it gets exponentially more difficult to find another job. Stay were you are until you get some experience, and don't change jobs in such poor economic times. Remember last hired first fired.

[XR6Hurricane]

I'm old school, but you're the guy and you're employed with a great opportunity with someone taking you under his wing. Opportunities like that just don't happen anymore, especially in big corporations. I would never walk away from that in this job market. It's a tough call either way but with the path you're headed down in your job, I think that's where the priority needs to be between the two of you. Not for your sake but for BOTH of your sakes. I relocated for a job once and I would not do it again. I just don't see the point in changing jobs in this market for the sake of the other person going to school for a potential future job. Any time you start a new job there are a lot of unknowns. If you uproot your life and move, what do you do if your new job doesn't work out and then she's still working on her career. True, if you leave your current job on good terms it will help if you want to come back, but there has to be a job opening for you to come back to.

 

All that said, @6balls knows what a PA makes, and I don't know what you're making now or have the potential to make. He makes some valid points too. But I tend to take a bird in the hand.

 

Coming from someone who has never been married and only lived with someone for three months before the crap hit the fan...

[usaski1]

Yeah, I vote keep your job, let her do her thing and visit on extended weekends, ect. You won't find another job again like the one you have. My wife wants me to move now, and I'm scared I'll never find there what I'm making now. Having said that, I did once do a 1800 mile move with no job.. it worked out, but its taken me 4 years to make back now the same rate I was before the switch.

[Skoot1123]

I'm with @xr6hurricane - A bird in hand is worth a lot. You can always take a gamble now (while your young) but if you have a good level of trust built up with you and your boss, see if he will take it to the next level and put it in writing. That - IMO - is the proof of the pudding.

 

The biggest question though is this: how close are you to a ski lake now, and how close would you be if you moved? That is worth it's weight in gold!!!

[mellig]

There are a lot of variables I would consider but at your age I would not be concerned about making a move or pursuing alternative options while she is going to school, if you do not feel you can live apart for that amount of time and she is not committed to coming back to where you currently live.

 

It sounds like from your internship and rather limited work experience you are a smart guy and will have no problem getting employment, likely better employment, in another location or in the future. It would be my suggestion that while you target her schools assure they are within a long commute of a metropolitan area (work options) and also evaluate her locations to assure there are good MBA options either at the same school or close.

 

As long as you live within or open to living in a mid-to-major city, there typically is a lack of top talent in the marketplace and you will find plenty of opportunities. When I am looking for employees, I prefer individuals to have multiple experiences both in company and location (as long as you don't show a history of job hopping).

 

@6balls is also correct that in almost all situations a longer term dual income situation will allow you more financial freedom in the future to pursue some strong lifestyle choices in the future... the answer better be waterfront! Please note I said 'longer' term dual income as I have know far too many individuals that have pursued higher education only to stay at home with kids only a few years later. There is nothing wrong with that, but you need to be realistic in the desire for education/career verses staying at home with children. You can easily leverage your future in education debt (especially considering cost of education these days) without a sound payback.

 

Just views... best of luck in your adventure and remember that 10 years from now you will be sitting by a lake after a day on the water, beer in hand, and be happy. All the details in between won't matter...

[xrated]

Good luck whichever way you choose.

 

Advice from a poor guy with rich guy hobbies, money is nice but it isn't everything. Location and people are worth much more. And with what your wife wants to do she should be able to write a ticket just about any where for work...though many bigger health care places are on freezes or limited hiring.

 

@mellig is right as well to bring up future plans....do you want kids? If so do you want to get bent over on day care costs so that both of you can work? Or would one of you be willing to raise kids while the other earned? I can tell you from personal experience it is a huge sacrifice raising a family on one income. I'm sure it would be easier on a 6 figure income but then again would that job let me leave work behind when I clock out each day?

 

Lots of thinking and talking ahead for you guys.

[Razorskier1]

Go to work for @Brady. He's probably a prick as a boss, but he seems nice on BOS!

[Brady]

@Razorskier1 I am sure I am a prick always...just ask my wife!!!! :)

[skihard]

I left a job and career for a woman many years ago. HUGE mistake!!!!! She now has her career and 3/4 of everything we owned together and a new husband.

Took me many years to recover. But I did and realize what real hindsight is?

You have worked for yours, let her work for hers, and work at it when you both have careers.